Random facts about me.

So I got tagged with this, so I’ll go along with it. Here were the instructions. BTW, I’m not tagging anyone to have to participate!

“Once you have been tagged you have to write a blog with 10 weird, random things, facts, habits, or goals about yourself. At the end choose 8 people to be tagged, listing their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment (tag, you’re it) to read your blog. You can’t tag the person who tagged you. Since you can’t tag me back, let me know when you’ve posted your blog so I can see your answers.”

1.) I don’t like to go barefoot. I call it ‘bare feet phobia’. Even in my own home, I’ll always have some sort of shoe on…just socks won’t do! BUT, after I went to Hawaii, where the tradition is to remove your shoes before entering a home, I am a little more at ease about this!

2.) Hysterical laughter is my nervous habit and has caused me trouble several occasions!

3.) I love Wake Forest University [Go Deacs!] but since they often lose at sporting events, I am a Duke fan! [Go Devils!]

4.) I have a thyroid disorder called Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis. [It's fun to make fun of that name! In fact, I have to say it in an accent like Hiro Nakamura on Heroes when I refer to it! HA!]

5.) I’ve never done drugs – never even tried it. I’m a chicken – thank you Jesus!

6.) I buy things in twos. . . two cans of this, two boxes of that…just has to be in twos.

7.) I prefer to drink water at room temperature.

8.) I hate taking polish off of my toenails so it either grows off [haha gross] or gets painted over.

9.) I’m a perfectionist. If I can’t do something perfectly, I won’t do it at all. (amen sister)

10.) I put my right leg in pants first always!

Telling Everything You Know

My kiddos make me proud when they talk about praying for others! I’m proud of them when they have academic successes. I love it when they make the right decisions to do the right things! But, there are times that they also tell everything they know – and then some! Of course, like all children, my girls can also embarrass the fool out of me! As I was listening to one of them tell me a story about what they told someone, and I was utterly mortified, I had this thought. My Father loves when I pray for others. He is proud of my successes. He loves for me to do the right thing at hard junctures. I can also embarrass Him by what I say and how I behave. OUCH!

It isn’t necessary to tell everything you know every time you speak to someone. Pray that today, the things that come to your mind and out of your mouth are pleasing to the Lord.

On a side note, gossip is just plain wrong. I once heard a pastor say that it is gossip if you are not part of the problem or solution. So, check the things you feel the urge to say. Especially if it may hurt another person.

Just a thought!

What makes you you?

There are things that stir you to action.

For me, music drives me from my very core. It lifts me from a down place at times. It soothes me. It is my security blanket.

What makes you proud?

My family and friends make me so proud – especially if they are following the will of the Lord. Also when they choose to do the right thing even if it is the hard thing!

What makes you stop short of nothing to achieve _______ ?

What runs through your blood?

What drives you?

What is in the center of you?

What are your goals? Your dreams?

One goal I have is to record an album from start to finish. I will do this one day!

I challenge you to write down these things and put them in a place to refer back to them when you’ve gained success in a goal. You may have to change this list from time to time, but what is it that YOU value? Where ARE you going in your life? What are the most important things in your life? If you’ve never sat down to do this, I urge you to take the time! It’s SO worth it! I’ve only given a few examples because I want these things to be your ideas and not mine. Sit down and think! Pray! Now, write! Watch your dreams come alive! Let me celebrate with you! Share some of your dreams and goals!

The Value Of A True Friend

This is an old blog I felt worthy of re-posting.

Friendship. It’s strange to blog about the obvious, but I’ve been thinking lots lately about what true friendship really like. Here are a couple of things to check your relationships by. I don’t think I’ll ever underestimate the value of real friendship – ever again because I found a “soul sister” to share my life with!

1. Transparency. You can’t be very close if you can’t be real. Having to hide who you are or how you feel is the first signal that you don’t have the friendship you think you may have. You can’t wear masks or hide behind things with friends or you’ll never grow and nurture that relationship. True friends love you when you’re angry, happy or sad. They see you when you don’t have your hair fixed or makeup on, but they don’t judge you for not having ‘it all together’ or being ‘lazy’. Transparent vulnerability has led to pain for me in some instances, but that pain only served to make me stronger in the end. I am who you see. No masks.

2. Empathy. You can say, ‘I feel so sorry that you’re experiencing’ something, but unless you’ve lived it, you don’t really know how to ‘console’ them. I believe God puts people in your path to help you through things. I have just realized that there is another being on this earth that has struggled with the VERY same fight I have had for most of my life. After experiencing what empathy means on THAT level, I understand how important that is within a friendship! Sure, you can feel sympathy for people experiencing things, but its not the same! For example, I honestly couldn’t know HOW you’re feeling if you were trying to tell me your dad abandoned you. My daddy loves me and would do anything in the world for me – I couldn’t imagine him abandoning me. My heart would hurt for you, but I couldn’t TRULY understand because I haven’t walked it. Look for those people that have similar experiences and positively grown from them. Don’t sit around bashing ‘dad’ together. GROW! Pour into one another and use the similar experience to deepen your bond.

3. Honesty. A true friend creates an atmosphere for you to feel comfortable being honest – with everything – the good, bad, and ugly. This atmosphere is conducive to counsel without fear of rejection or judgement. If you cannot be honest with someone, check your motive behind befriending them.

4. Encouragement. On a down day, you look to your friends to listen and ‘advise’ you on your situation. You’re looking for wise counsel. I had a friend tell me that she was thinking of leaving her husband for an old flame. As she sat there telling me everything wrong with her husband – and right w/Mr. Facebook, my mind literally flooded with counsel. Some of which wasn’t wise. It was just ME! When she stopped sharing, I said, “You know, your husband may not show you in the best possible way, but he is crazy about you. How do I know that? He goes to work every day so that you can stay home and raise your children. He does everything within his power to get you anything you want.” Sure, I could have agreed with the ugly things about her husband, but the truth is, he IS crazy about her. She was just blinded by his inability [at that time] to speak her love language. I loved her enough to speak the truth to her. I think because I encouraged her instead of discouraging her, they have gone on to have an incredible marriage.

5. True friends make you a priority in their life. They are always happy to see you and when you need them, they are only a call, text, or visit away!

Friends are special people. I challenge you to take an inventory of the friendships you have and see how healthy those relationships are. If they are life giving relationships, count yourself in the lucky few category because most people only experience a strong acquaintance with others. They lack TRUE friendship. If you are in a friendship that speaks ‘death’ or zaps your energy, trust God to show you how to end it. Your health, physical and spiritual are worth far more than a damaging friendship.

I have pulled away from friends that were amazing, but when we spoke, there was always some sort of gossip. It hurt, but I’m learning how to make ‘not gossiping’ one of my “friend requirements”. Isn’t it funny how your perspective changes when you begin to grow up?

Plan B

I have just completed reading Pete Wilson’s Plan B [What do you do when God doesn't show up the way you thought He would?] book for the second time. I cannot give enough kudos to this book!

If you have ever struggled with anything or faced any sort of crisis in your entire life, this book is for you. Growing in any kind of way has always triggered questions for me. Pete has offered the hope of God in a different way than I have ever heard it presented. His transparency gives you a feeling that he truly cares about what your desert pain is. He doesn’t pretend to have every answer to the hard questions you are asking.

What he does, is asks you to look inward and upward. Have you become too busy to stop and spend some quality time,  not check-the-box-off-your-list time with God? Has busyness become an idol? Your giftedness? TV? Money? Relationship? What is distracting you from giving God 100% of yourself. Those are hard but necessary questions to ask ourselves.

Most times Plan Bs are times of transformation. During the difficult moments, we don’t focus on the real reason why. We cry out to God why in the world things ‘suck so badly for us’, but we are asking the wrong questions. At this point, I’m grateful I’m not Job! I think it’s safe to say that I haven’t suffered quite like he did! I have experienced a particularly difficult Plan B, if you will. No, I didn’t have a spouse cheat on me or abuse me. I didn’t have children born with health problems. I haven’t experienced financial ruin. My Plan B was just the situation that God used, and I needed to wake me up from the robotic motions I was living in. Nothing went as I planned. Nothing turned out as I planned. I hurt like I have never hurt before, but God had my Plan B laid before me – where I would grow and develop into the woman He has called me to be.

If you have experienced anything painful, I strongly urge you to get your hands on this book! Pete Wilson has done a phenomenal job at walking the suffering person through to victory at the feet of Jesus! Thank you Pete for pouring your heart into this book. God is using your book to reach many broken, hurting people and bringing them into His presence for restoration!

Ps 130:5 I wait for the Lord to help me, and I trust His word. – - Do you?

Phases and Seasons

Often times we don’t designate real thinking to the specific season of life we are in or that we may be riding a specific phase within that season. We usually only give ‘season’ passing thoughts unless we are transitioning in or out of one season, usually because we’re ‘desert living’ or suffering some sort of heartache. I’ve realized recently that there are differences between a season and a phase – you know, like a book and chapters.

Seasons include many different phases of growth and change. You may think you’re actually leaving a season and more time than not, you’re entering a different phase meant to trim/shape you and grow you closer to your maximum potential.

Matt and I are in a really strange phase right now. We’ve just transitioned into another season of our lives. This first growing phase has been interesting to say the least! His job, well, I’m asking for prayer about that. We know that God is the provider, not Matt or his abilities. There are so many things that have exploded around us that we feel a bit in shell shock for lack of a better description. Abba surely has us in His hands, but things seem to be spinning like crazy at the moment! I’m looking to go back to work since all of my girls are in school in the fall.

The steps of the righteous are ordered by the Lord, and we are desperate to remain on His path! We are resting in Him!

Ps 32:6-11 says:

⁶ Therefore let everyone who is godly pray to you
while you may be found;
surely when the mighty waters rise,
they will not reach him.

⁷ You are my hiding place;
you will protect me from trouble
and surround me with songs of deliverance.
Selah

⁸ I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you and watch over you.

⁹ Do not be like the horse or the mule,
which have no understanding
but must be controlled by bit and bridle
or they will not come to you.

¹⁰ Many are the woes of the wicked,
but the LORD’s unfailing love
surrounds the man who trusts in him.

¹¹ Rejoice in the LORD and be glad, you righteous;
sing, all you who are upright in heart!

Bask in His love. He desires to pour it out during every single phase of our lives that make up each season He has set up for us!

What are you grateful for?

Often times we sit back and view things from a negative vantage. We find things to complain about or things to nit pick over. Our choice to do this supersedes our ability to live in the JOY of the Lord at all times. It really is all in how you look at it. After dealing with some health issues, I realize that I am grateful to have health. Here are a few things I am extremely grateful for!

Jesus. He is my Way, Truth, and Life. I cannot even begin to write how grateful I am for His sacrifice in order to save my life.

Matthew Carman. He is an amazing man. He’s my best friend. He’s my confidante, one I can tell my biggest fear, excitement,  or secret, without fear of it being exposed. God knew that I needed him. It was a long road for our relationship to be where it is at, but God certainly completed me when He created Matt. I love him so! If we have a disagreement, I don’t have to worry. I know that I have a man that loves me more than anything and is committed to the success of our marriage. I can take that one to the bank!

Baylee, Julianna, and Rachael Carman. These girls have an uncanny ability to drive me berserk, but I am so grateful for the joy they bring to me. I have been tasked with some of the most amazing little girls – ever, in the course of history! Sure, the whining may be like fingernails on a chalkboard, but their lungs are healthy enough to push out the screaming. They may fight with one another, but ‘nobody better lay a hand on the other’ because they understand what loyalty really looks like. They are all very healthy girls.

Mountain Dew. It sustains my natural lack of energy – and I suppose my addiction to caffeine.

What are you grateful for? These things are just a few of things that I am most grateful for. Have you checked your vantage lately?

Baylee reminded me.

As I was driving home from Baylee’s school, the carpool kids were discussing hair. Baylee was telling the story of how ‘her dad’ shaved her head when she was a baby. Then she proceeded to say, “I suppose I was telling the wrong story all along. It was Mom who shaved my head.” That story brought back other memories. First to clarify, YES, I did shave my poor baby girl’s head when she was 2 months old. I had a friend that was Thai and she told me their traditions were to shave the head of their girls so that their hair comes back faster and thicker. Matt insisted that we do this because Arlene said so. She has gorgeous hair. Poor Baylee had peach fuzz hair for over a year. It did NOT grow back faster!

We were talking about shaving heads and it made me remember another goof-up I made about 2 months after I got married. We were poor [and I'm mean POOR] little airmen, and Matt said that we needed to save money and cut his hair. He asked me to do the back. I had NO idea how to cut hair with the clippers, and I balked, but he insisted. So, I took the clippers in my hand and very slowly started up. I basically ate a chunk out of his hair. He told me he wanted it long, and when I saw what I had done, I put them down, and said, “I’m done! I can’t do this!” He said, “What’s going on?” When he saw the bald spot I had created his face was priceless. I must confess that I have never laid hands on clippers for HIS head ever again! For that, he’s grateful!

My blooper with Daddy

Yes, my poor dad is getting ready to get ‘outted’ by this post, but I couldn’t help it! Again, my hysterical laughter played the role of making me look idiotic, but it’s okay. I can laugh now because it’s plain straight up funny! HA! Yes, I’m laughing at myself.

At Christmastime in the late nineties, my dad and I were asked to sing at a Christmas gathering at a church in our community. He was playing his guitar, and I didn’t realize that I could actually play the keys then – but that was the set up. Daddy on his guitar singing, and me singing beside him.

We practiced, and since ‘Daddy was getting old’ [isn't that funny!] I made very detailed notes on the music. They looked sort of like this: Daddy leads, Ash – harmony, or Ashley LEADS – Daddy do the harmony. Don’t forget you’re doing harmony!

In our lineup was “Emmanuel”. You know, “Oh come oh come Emmanuel. And ransom captive Israel”. I’m very sorry if this is now stuck in your head. Here’s the deal, I was up to sing the lead of this song. We were going to do an amazing a cappella version of this song. You know how BEAUTIFUL family harmonies are and how well they blend right? It made the hair on my arms stand at attention during our rehearsal. He was to strum the chord on the guitar and then let it ring out, and I would push forward . . . Yes, BIG deep breath, and I start to sing “Oh come” and my dad is singing AS high as I WAS because he missed the note. . . ? Panic set in. I didn’t really know how to recover and he wouldn’t stop singing. Yes, you already see what’s getting ready to happen. . . the first giggle slipped out and I was TOAST! Strum. . . * *deep breath* *, * *giggling* *, “Ok, ok”. Strum… **deep breath**, **EXTREME LAUGHTER**, and we tried this about 15 times LITERALLY. We finally had to go to the next song, and come back to it to get through it.

Strum. . . **deep breath**, **small giggles, Oh come, . . .**

Whew! I got through it, but I have to admit that when the initial instance happened, I could only imagine my dad struggling with himself to even sing that high and started imaging someone doing ugly things to him to cause him to be able to hit the notes that he was hitting. Oh dear. . . I suppose there’s never a dull moment with me around!

My wedding day blooper.

Most people think back to their wedding day, and warm, fuzzy thoughts flood their minds, right? Well, as I started thinking about ridiculous things that had caused me to break into hysterical laughter, Matt quickly reminded me that my wedding day surely fell into this category. I have yet to see the video from the wedding, but I can only imagine what it must have looked like.

Matt and I chose to use different vows, not the traditional ones. My great uncle was officiating the ceremony, and maybe you noticed that I said GREAT uncle. . . Yes, I’m implying that he was a little older and required the use of reading glasses. Since we opted to use different vows, I decided to print them out for him in a huge 48 size font. I mean, literally, there were probably 2 words on a line, only one if it was a long word. The pages were all neatly labeled and all he had to do was read. Yes, just read. Matthew is repeating after him and said this line, “I promise to respect and be respected by you.” Uncle Onnie then said, “And to respect and be respected by you.” As soon as I realized that he had lost his place, the nervous laughter began and the little giggles started seeping out. Trying to maintain every shred of composure that I could, [don't forget my coping mechanism to stress is uncontrollable, inappropriate laughter] I looked up at Matt with panic in my eyes. Matthew started, “And to respect”. . . I broke out into full form – hysterics. As soon as Uncle Onnie realized what had happened, and that there was no helping me, he jokingly interjected, “Well, I guess he’s really going to practice respect huh?” It was all I could stand there and laugh like a fool.

Do you recall wedding ritual? Yes, most often, the groom is addressed and the bride follows. Now, at this point are you beginning to realize the panic that is really settling inside of me? I have to start talking and professing my undying love for Matthew and ALL I can do, literally is laugh! I managed to giggle through most of it, but as soon as we got to the ‘respect and be respected by you’ part, the hysterics started all over again.

Matthew got so irritated, but there were folks in the audience that were giggling and cackling with me. That made it worse. I think I may be able to identify some other ‘laughing’ coper’s.  Most people have other technical problems with their wedding ceremonies, but I don’t know of anyone that has suffered through the vows fighting full form hysterical laughter.

Maybe tomorrow’s story will bring even funnier memories. . . ‘Til then! G’night!