Blooper Laughs

I feel like it is time to take another try at writing about some bloopers I’ve encountered. I need some good whole-hearted belly laughs.

This one today, again “outs” someone, but rates right up there with some of the funniest moments I’ve ever experienced. Today, Granddaddy is getting outed. This story is about another funeral. [I swore I wasn't singing at another funeral, but somehow it just keeps happening.]

My family had been asked to sing at a funeral of one of the bike riders in my dad’s GWRRA chapter. It was a sudden death and completely unexpected. My heart was breaking for the family because this man really was the glue for them. Of course, my dad said that we would sing [without asking me or Granddaddy - so we both got roped into it].

So, we start to sing the song Amazing Grace. Now,I don’t know many people that don’t actually know that song – at least heard of it – or may not know all of the verses but does know the first verse right? It is a very familiar song and if you’ve been in church much, you’ve heard it many times. For the record, Granddaddy always sings the lead and Diddy and I sing harmony. We start out singing [Diddy and I are following along in harmony], and I hear something other than the correct words coming out. Now, I’ve said before that my nervous habit it hysterical, uncontrolled laughter. I was nervous. I was at a funeral. I didn’t want to sing because my heart hurts so much during those things right? Well, Granddaddy forgot the words to the first verse of Amazing Grace so I guess he thought he would just ‘go with the flow’. Ha! He started singing, “Amazing grace, how sweet the sound. I forgo-oo-oo-t the words!” Uhm, yeah…I completely lost it! I might add that, the harder I try to stop laughing, the worse I get! Oh my, I was in complete hysterics.

Some time later, I found out from the family – after they heard what actually happened, that you could hear this whole mishap on the funeral recording. How’s that for being ‘caught’?

Til next time, enjoy laughing at my expense!

What are you grateful for?

Often times we sit back and view things from a negative vantage. We find things to complain about or things to nit pick over. Our choice to do this supersedes our ability to live in the JOY of the Lord at all times. It really is all in how you look at it. After dealing with some health issues, I realize that I am grateful to have health. Here are a few things I am extremely grateful for!

Jesus. He is my Way, Truth, and Life. I cannot even begin to write how grateful I am for His sacrifice in order to save my life.

Matthew Carman. He is an amazing man. He’s my best friend. He’s my confidante, one I can tell my biggest fear, excitement,  or secret, without fear of it being exposed. God knew that I needed him. It was a long road for our relationship to be where it is at, but God certainly completed me when He created Matt. I love him so! If we have a disagreement, I don’t have to worry. I know that I have a man that loves me more than anything and is committed to the success of our marriage. I can take that one to the bank!

Baylee, Julianna, and Rachael Carman. These girls have an uncanny ability to drive me berserk, but I am so grateful for the joy they bring to me. I have been tasked with some of the most amazing little girls – ever, in the course of history! Sure, the whining may be like fingernails on a chalkboard, but their lungs are healthy enough to push out the screaming. They may fight with one another, but ‘nobody better lay a hand on the other’ because they understand what loyalty really looks like. They are all very healthy girls.

Mountain Dew. It sustains my natural lack of energy – and I suppose my addiction to caffeine.

What are you grateful for? These things are just a few of things that I am most grateful for. Have you checked your vantage lately?

Baylee reminded me.

As I was driving home from Baylee’s school, the carpool kids were discussing hair. Baylee was telling the story of how ‘her dad’ shaved her head when she was a baby. Then she proceeded to say, “I suppose I was telling the wrong story all along. It was Mom who shaved my head.” That story brought back other memories. First to clarify, YES, I did shave my poor baby girl’s head when she was 2 months old. I had a friend that was Thai and she told me their traditions were to shave the head of their girls so that their hair comes back faster and thicker. Matt insisted that we do this because Arlene said so. She has gorgeous hair. Poor Baylee had peach fuzz hair for over a year. It did NOT grow back faster!

We were talking about shaving heads and it made me remember another goof-up I made about 2 months after I got married. We were poor [and I'm mean POOR] little airmen, and Matt said that we needed to save money and cut his hair. He asked me to do the back. I had NO idea how to cut hair with the clippers, and I balked, but he insisted. So, I took the clippers in my hand and very slowly started up. I basically ate a chunk out of his hair. He told me he wanted it long, and when I saw what I had done, I put them down, and said, “I’m done! I can’t do this!” He said, “What’s going on?” When he saw the bald spot I had created his face was priceless. I must confess that I have never laid hands on clippers for HIS head ever again! For that, he’s grateful!

My blooper with Daddy

Yes, my poor dad is getting ready to get ‘outted’ by this post, but I couldn’t help it! Again, my hysterical laughter played the role of making me look idiotic, but it’s okay. I can laugh now because it’s plain straight up funny! HA! Yes, I’m laughing at myself.

At Christmastime in the late nineties, my dad and I were asked to sing at a Christmas gathering at a church in our community. He was playing his guitar, and I didn’t realize that I could actually play the keys then – but that was the set up. Daddy on his guitar singing, and me singing beside him.

We practiced, and since ‘Daddy was getting old’ [isn't that funny!] I made very detailed notes on the music. They looked sort of like this: Daddy leads, Ash – harmony, or Ashley LEADS – Daddy do the harmony. Don’t forget you’re doing harmony!

In our lineup was “Emmanuel”. You know, “Oh come oh come Emmanuel. And ransom captive Israel”. I’m very sorry if this is now stuck in your head. Here’s the deal, I was up to sing the lead of this song. We were going to do an amazing a cappella version of this song. You know how BEAUTIFUL family harmonies are and how well they blend right? It made the hair on my arms stand at attention during our rehearsal. He was to strum the chord on the guitar and then let it ring out, and I would push forward . . . Yes, BIG deep breath, and I start to sing “Oh come” and my dad is singing AS high as I WAS because he missed the note. . . ? Panic set in. I didn’t really know how to recover and he wouldn’t stop singing. Yes, you already see what’s getting ready to happen. . . the first giggle slipped out and I was TOAST! Strum. . . * *deep breath* *, * *giggling* *, “Ok, ok”. Strum… **deep breath**, **EXTREME LAUGHTER**, and we tried this about 15 times LITERALLY. We finally had to go to the next song, and come back to it to get through it.

Strum. . . **deep breath**, **small giggles, Oh come, . . .**

Whew! I got through it, but I have to admit that when the initial instance happened, I could only imagine my dad struggling with himself to even sing that high and started imaging someone doing ugly things to him to cause him to be able to hit the notes that he was hitting. Oh dear. . . I suppose there’s never a dull moment with me around!

My wedding day blooper.

Most people think back to their wedding day, and warm, fuzzy thoughts flood their minds, right? Well, as I started thinking about ridiculous things that had caused me to break into hysterical laughter, Matt quickly reminded me that my wedding day surely fell into this category. I have yet to see the video from the wedding, but I can only imagine what it must have looked like.

Matt and I chose to use different vows, not the traditional ones. My great uncle was officiating the ceremony, and maybe you noticed that I said GREAT uncle. . . Yes, I’m implying that he was a little older and required the use of reading glasses. Since we opted to use different vows, I decided to print them out for him in a huge 48 size font. I mean, literally, there were probably 2 words on a line, only one if it was a long word. The pages were all neatly labeled and all he had to do was read. Yes, just read. Matthew is repeating after him and said this line, “I promise to respect and be respected by you.” Uncle Onnie then said, “And to respect and be respected by you.” As soon as I realized that he had lost his place, the nervous laughter began and the little giggles started seeping out. Trying to maintain every shred of composure that I could, [don't forget my coping mechanism to stress is uncontrollable, inappropriate laughter] I looked up at Matt with panic in my eyes. Matthew started, “And to respect”. . . I broke out into full form – hysterics. As soon as Uncle Onnie realized what had happened, and that there was no helping me, he jokingly interjected, “Well, I guess he’s really going to practice respect huh?” It was all I could stand there and laugh like a fool.

Do you recall wedding ritual? Yes, most often, the groom is addressed and the bride follows. Now, at this point are you beginning to realize the panic that is really settling inside of me? I have to start talking and professing my undying love for Matthew and ALL I can do, literally is laugh! I managed to giggle through most of it, but as soon as we got to the ‘respect and be respected by you’ part, the hysterics started all over again.

Matthew got so irritated, but there were folks in the audience that were giggling and cackling with me. That made it worse. I think I may be able to identify some other ‘laughing’ coper’s.  Most people have other technical problems with their wedding ceremonies, but I don’t know of anyone that has suffered through the vows fighting full form hysterical laughter.

Maybe tomorrow’s story will bring even funnier memories. . . ‘Til then! G’night!

Blessed

I am not supposed to let the sun go down on my irritation, so here it is… *long, slow exhale!** I am releasing it!

In a blog earlier, I mentioned that I was blessed to have a man that loved me for my transparency. In that, I began to ponder some blessings I have received in my life!

I have been blessed in so many ways and I have to choose to look at the positive rather than the negative. I have an incredible family that back me and support me no matter what. I have three beaUtiful girls! I am blessed with an ability to write music. I can sing [and my Creator LOVES to hear me sing to Him] – well actually, and play keys – getting better on them. My husband is an incredible man [have I mentioned that I am the luckiest girl in the world?] that he would do anything for me! I am a daughter of THE King, a chosen one. What more can I ask for? I don’t need anything else. Thank You Lord for your love! I love you! Thank You for blessing me with gifts/talents, an amazing hubby, an incredible family…WOW! I can’t find anything to complain about at the moment! I AM blessed, indeed!

Download FREE Elevation Christmas Music

http://elevation-worship.com/blog/?p=1066

Here is the link for them – although I am not sure when they will take them down.

ENJOY! I sure am enjoying!

Busy times require a mandatory SLOW down!

Matt has been gone for a week and a half now and so much has happened since he left. Last week I was slammed with PTO obligations and in the middle of that, Julianna fell and broke her arm at school. We went to the orthopedic doc and waited forever. We got the cast on it and I was able to scoot out to the Women’s Conference for one of the sessions and the recap. I rushed home to hurry up to prepare for the Saturday afternoon rehearsal for the weekend services. [I'm REALLY missing Matt at this point!] God said to me, “slow down!” I sat down. He refreshed me in a way that I can’t really say has ever happened. I kept my focus on Him during the craziness. I can’t really explain why it [stopping to sit] made this HUGE impact on me…except that I was STILL. In the busyness and stress of life, while we glance His direction once or twice per day, it doesn’t really equivocate what stopping to hear Him does for us. At once, the scripture, “Be still and know that I am God” flooded me. I got it! I experienced it!

No matter what, busy times require a mandatory slow down. He does so much for calming to rush that we are overwhelmed by. He takes the mountains of trouble away. He brings comfort. He fills us up. He refreshes us. I’m so grateful that He loves me!

It’s so hard to say goodbye. . .

I feel so down at this moment. I’m afraid that I’ll come back to this post, re-read, and delete it. I had to tell my best friend that I would see him in 5 weeks. I can’t even explain why it feels so heavy. I just know that Matthew is my, well, he’s everything to me. He’s going for training.

My girls have known for some time that he was going to leave because I didn’t want them to be surprised at the length of his absence. My heart broke when I watched them trying to say goodbye. Julianna stood at the door and refused to let him pass. The scream, “Noooooooooooooo” that passed through her when he finally did pass was excruciating. It was everything that I could do to be as strong as I could. Rachael was holding so tightly to his legs that she was being ‘drug’ as he tried to take a step. After he drove off, I found Baylee in her room crying – BIG cries. She told me that this had been the worst week of her life.

See, I’m a big girl and I see the big picture a little easier than they do. That’s the part that shatters me. I can’t stand watching them feel so broken with no control over anything.

As I stood there watching them all try to say goodbye to their daddy, and he to them, God spoke to me. He said, “See! Sometimes what hurts the most is right in line for blessing and destiny to happen.” I felt a little confused for a second, wondering why ‘I’ may have conjured this idea, but then I realized that He was speaking of Matt’s absence. In order for Matt to become who he was created to be, he has to leave for this training. He has been destined for great purpose. The steps of a righteous man are ordered by the Lord. I take comfort in knowing that He has ordered the path that Matthew is following. It doesn’t make it any easier, but in times such as these, He will be everything I need. The hardest thing for me to do is to say goodbye – I have learned it is a little easier to say, “See you later!”

The kids came ‘home’. . .

Two weekends ago marked an amazing weekend for Pointe North Community Church and the ministries within. God blessed us so that we were able to ‘bring the kids home’ to the main campus. For the first time in PNCC history, we have every ministry under the same roof!

The facility looks amazing. The buzz surrounding this first weekend has gone before us! The second weekend was amazing as we hosted the Alive Praise Band [APB] to lead worship!

We are growing and are in desperate need of your help! If you have a heart for new generations becoming passionate about Jesus, call the church or email me and I’ll get you the information you need!